For Mike

I am sad. I am broken. I am devastated. Michael Peterson (Big Mike) was one of my very best friends and he passed away a few days ago. Although I didn't seem him quite as often as I would have liked in the last little while--we could always pick up where we left off and would always have a good time laughing and sharing inside jokes. I considered him one of my best friends and I hope that he felt the same.

I think I read the message more than 20 times when I got it stating that Mike had passed. It was unreal and I just couldn't believe it. When I called Laura a few minutes later, her voice on the phone confirmed the worst and I had to hurry and hang up before I completely broke down. It still feels unreal.

I loved him, I still love him...not just as a friend, but as a brother. We would give each other guff sometimes and get really upset or offend one another, but the next day it was over with and we were buds again. I will miss him and regret that I was not a better friends to him and could have encouraged him to seek help. I spent everyday with him for a period of my life, watching movies on my parent's couch, eating dinner, causing chaos, etc.

No matter what's happened in the last few years, we've always managed to make it to important events and it meant so much when Mike and Laura both made the trip and were able to attend my wedding. I said "I Love You" and "I Miss You" countless times during the 3 days we spent together with promises that we would spend more time together once everything had calmed down. I will cherish forever the few pictures I have that were taken of Mike after the wedding.




I keep reminiscing back to our wedding night when my father-in-law drove all of us out to Fremont Street in a mini-van and all the fun we had walking around. When we made it back, us group of friends gathered in a hotel room to relax, share laughs and enjoy each others company. We laughed and laughed until the wee hours of the morning as if we had no care in the world. I remember like it was yesterday the way in which Mike imitated how Sara snored like a motorbike the night before. It was hilarious and none of us could control our laughter.



Mike had such a big heart and was such a good, genuine person. He was there for me during times when I felt I had no one, during times that mattered the most and were some of the hardest to go through. There were many times I would call late in the night and bawl his ear off or Laura's and they would both sit and console me for hours on end. I wish that he could have called me...I would have returned the favor.

My heart is breaking and hurting for Laura, Avery and Mike's family. The pain they are going through right now is unimaginable. I can't even wrap my head around it. I remember the look on Mike's face when we went to the hospital when Avery was born. He was so proud and so happy. That's how I'll remember him.

I guess this post was more for Mike--to let you know that I'm thinking about you and I miss you. Thank you so much for your friendship. I love you big guy.